Finally, the so awaited
UKSEDS weekend arrived!
I was actually kinda looking forward to it, hoping that it would be a fun weekend! Well, turns out that, apart from Andy who, once again, proved to be awesome, the weekend was horrible!
Friday afternoon, I met Andy at the Scisys' Chippenham office to pick him up. We loaded the car up and took off to the City of London. As if the Gods of weekend were attempting to warn us of the days we had ahead of us, the rain started pouring down like you wouldnt believe! Most of the drive to London was done under constant intense rain which was really annoying to say the least. But, courageous and adventurous, we still faced the elements and made it to the "lovely" (in the most ironic and sarcastic tone possible) "city" of Kingston-upon-Thames - The world's arsehole this side of the River Thames!
My, oh my! What a DUMP! Not only was it not very attractive nor glamorous, but the people were horrible too! Actually, this didnt come as much of a surprise! It wouldnt come to anyone that knows the way Londoners generally are! Drivers are mad (which some of you will know that, for me to say that, they have to be absolutely bonkers!), selfish, inconsiderate and rude! The average pedestrian public is just rude, ill-tempered and depressing! I REALLY don't understand how people can love London so much... Yes, the city is culturally very interesting, but saying that it is fabulous is a huge stretch of the imagination! People make the cities and Londoners, in the general sense, are very unattractive people at many levels.
To make matters worse and add a little bitter seasoning to my mood and my appreciation for the town, as we arrived, I realise that I had completely ran out of brake pads and, eventhough the car was still braking fine, I could tell I was braking with metal on metal... How did I know this? A very distinctive and loud metal grinding noise everytime I used the brakes! Woo Hoo - this is going well!
Anyway, after putting up the stand at the tiny and most deserted university campus in the world (Kingston University - I mean it was friday night, in the middle of term, and there was NO ONE in the whole campus!!) we proceeded to try and discover where the Travelodge hotel was situated! It was very well hidden (congratulations to the Urban Engineer who chose the place!) with no type of signaling at all!
After 1hour driving around in the hideous and most impractical one-way system of the fine VILLAGE of Kingston, we finally managed to unearth this so called hotel. Upon arrival we learned that the hotel, which charges £75 per person per night (€110!), did NOT have a car park! Well, "lucky" enough, we managed to find a parking spot right at the beginning of the street where the hotel was located. Very handy! But, eventhough it was parked inside the lines indicating a parking spot, I decided to check with the traffic warden ANYWAY, just in case, since he was just passing by! "We are staying at this hotel right here. Is it ok to leave the car in this spot?" "Yes, its fine there." - retorted the traffic warden in the most uninterested and rude tone possible without even looking at me. Well, having experience with these Children of Beelzebub, Lord and Father of all God-Forsaken half-goat-half-demons, the traffic wardens, I decided to check the ticket issuing machine anyway and it stated, very clearly, that it was a paying parking area within the times of 8:30am and 10:30pm. Great!, I thought, I just have to pay til 10:30pm and tomorrow we need to leave before 8:30 anyway, so it is just perfect. Bought the ticket, stuck it to the windscreen and never thought about it again...
We went to pizza express for dinner, ate a very tasty and well-deserved pepperoni and spicy meat pizza and went to bed.
Got up in the morning and, surprise surprise, this "fantastic" £75 a night hotel does NOT even have SHAMPOO!!! SEVENTY-FUCKING-FIVE POUNDS and not a single miserable little bottle of shampoo!!! Had to wash my hair with soap... lovely... another "plus sign" on the list of why London is wonderful...
Well, we stepped out of the hotel at about 8:25 and, to my astonishment, there was a parking ticket on my windscreen! WAIT A FECKIN' MINUTE - I thought in a Father Ted-like accent - its not 8:30 yet!!! The daughter of Baphomet was still there, a couple of cars up the road, so I took the ticket, went up to her and asked her why did I have a parking ticket if it isnt even 8:28 yet? To which she replies: "Well, all of the parking spots on this road (about 60 or 70) are charged between 8:30am and 10:30pm... eeeeeeeexcept for those 2 at the front, including the one you are in." WHAT??? COME AGAIN??? Those 2 are different times??? WHAT IS LOGIC IN THAT??? WHAT IS THE FUCKING RATIONALE BEHIND SUCH AN ABERRATION OF A POLICY??? How could this be?... well, I will only say one thing: LONDON. Enough said...
Anyway, I put the London retardedness behind my back and took off to the conference. It went well and uneventful really... There were some interesting presentations made by some interesting people... others were just plain, some even boring... but overall it went by fast... We even had an italian astronaut talking. During his talk I got the faint impression that he was a bit full of himself... but, later on, on the exhibition room, I lost that impression... it turned into a certainty!!! The dude was walking around with pictures of himself, autographing them for people!! lololol It was hilarious! I mean, if someone asks you for an autograph, fair enough, fantastic even! But, when that happens, pulling out an envelope with pictures of yourself to autograph them, thats just wrong and, quite honestly, stupidly-big-headed-amusinging! hehe
Anyway... the first day came to an end and we were glad to be heading back to the hotel to change and go out for some entertainment! Andy had some friends, from his youthful years in boarding school, who now live in London and whom he hadnt seen for years, so we went to see them and ended up having a brilliant night! They were all very fun and most amuzing! There was a lot of banter, drinking and there was much rejoicing! :D A very nostalgic feeling going round, with many stories of the old days being told, which were very amusing, their narrations of the past events were very entertaining! I had a blast and met really interesting people! Couldnt have had a better night!
"Ah! So you did have a good time in London, after all!" - I hear you say... Well, I wasnt shocked to find out that, eventhough they all lived in London, NONE of them were actually originally Londoners! Actually, most of them lived most of their lives outside the UK, all over the world! Very cosmopolitan people I hang out with, hey? ;)
Well, all good things come to an end, and the night ended fairly quick since we had an early start in the morning, for the second day of the conference. It went just as well as the first day did and just as uneventful. At the end of the day, we packed the whole stand back into the car and took off from Kingston University at 4:30pm. I needed to be in Bristol at 7pm, after dropping Andy at Chippenham. 2 and a half hours? More than enough time... it usually only takes me 1hr45m from London to Bristol... But, since it was the good-luck-and-all-good-fortunes' national weekend the traffic was absolutely unbelievable and took us 1hr30m to get to the M4! So at 6pm I was finally on the motorway on the way to Bristol... 1hr to Bristol... never going to happen... nevertheless, I had to try and make it there as soon as possible, cos I promised my basketball team I would be there to play, even if I arrived late.
It was intense and a little crazy but managed to make it to Chippenham in 1hr. Just after 7pm I was parked outside the office. Andy was really cool and helpful and offered to finish putting everything away at Chippenham so that I could hit the road immediately and try and make it to the game. Dropped it all off and hit the tarmac like a maniac - destination: Monkton Combe School in Monkton Combe (to everyone's amazement!).
For those that don't know, Monkton Combe is a very, very small village southeast of Bath and to get there one has to drive through some very narrow country-side lanes, where there is no artificial lighting whatsoever... and to follow peoples instructions on how to get to a place, in the pitch-black night in the middle of cow fields is a nightmare! After a few phonecalls and U-turns, and close encounters with bovine obstacles (no, not really... but probably only cos they were all asleep by then!), I finally managed to find the place in time to see the game's tip-off as I was walking in through the door... huuph... made it... well, not to much avail, since the whole team must have had drugs for dinner, everyone went beserk and we ended up being slaughtered on the court, but I made it nevertheless...
Damn... that was a nasty weekend... glad to see it behind my back!
I am now back in Bristol, with its, generally, amicable and tolerant population.
For those of you worried out there, you may relax your poor little hearts in the knowledge that I have now fixed my brakes, its all in perfect working order and it's now safe walk the streets of Bristol without the fear of being ran over by my little purple bus! :) Safety above all!
This is, then, my testament to the awfulness of London and yet another example of why I seriously dislike (or even despise) London. Having said that, I am always up for a weekend in London with friends and I will always hope that they can make me change my mind! I mean, living next to one of the most "amazing" cities in the world and not liking it, kinda ruins the whole rock-star lifestyle image! hehe
Stay beautiful!
Me in a Xmas motif!
Kinky Me! (You KNOW I make Corsets look good, Baby, Yeah! hehe)
Finally, Me on stage playing for my band, The Grigori! ROCK ON, BABY! (This one was altered using photoshop, of course.)
Space too and See My Photos!