Saturday, January 28, 2006

Who ARE you?

First of all, I would like to thank you all for your support and your regular visits to this little corner of my disfuncional world and fun-loving insanity! I value greatly each and every visitor that comes along! And because I love that the world visits my blog, I am very grateful for all the comments that you guys leave for my posts which let me know what you think and feel for the blog and me.

And, it is for the exact same reasons that I urge you.... no... better yet... I BEG you to, PLEASE!!!!!, SIGN YOUR POSTS, so that I can actually know who wrote them and appreciate it even more! =)

Regardless, thank you very much to all of you out there and I hope to read even more comments (SIGNED!) from all of you, inquisitive souls! =)

Stay beautiful and in touch! ;D

Friday, January 27, 2006

Scientifically Proven: Chuck Norris Is Tha Man!

Got this on an email! One of the funniest things I have ever read! A list of little known facts about the badass that is one and only Chuck Norris:

Top Ten Chuck Norris Facts
1. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. But he is so badass, he has never cried. Ever.

2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

3. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

4. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

6. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infersthe probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

8. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

10. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

Additional Chuck Norris Facts
* There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

* Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

* Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

* Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.

* The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

* If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ’til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

* Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

* Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

* There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

* Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

* Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

* When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

* The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

* A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

* Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.

* Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

* Chuck Norris originally appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”

* The opening scene of the movie “Saving Private Ryan” is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

* Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

* Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth’s atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.

* Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

* Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren’t the best way to kick
someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

* Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

* Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris

* Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle — you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

* Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in forty-seven seconds.

* Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb.

* If you say Chuck Norris’ name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.

* Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.

* Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

* The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

* In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

* Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

* Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

* Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell them there was a stripper in it.

* Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.

* Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always.

* Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.

* As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

* Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a “Who has more testicles?” contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.

Damn, that was funny, man! I've piss and cried several times reading this! LOL

Anyway, stay beautiful!

Edd Egg Does It Again!


Happy 250th Birthday, Wolfgang Amadé Mozart!

And to celebrate this special day in true comedy glory, Edd Egg has produced yet another brilliantly funny and hilariously aggressive comic strip! Click here to burst laughing:

Thanks, dude, for the "politically uncorrect" bliss!

Stay beautiful!

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Celebrity Status!

It's true! Lately, my still on going basketball career's development is soaring and has reached new heights and levels of popularity!

Yes, I now have celebrity status, thanks to the fantastic and "world-famous" (err... no, not really... =D) Salisbury Journal, which published an article a couple of weeks ago, where my name was mentioned as one of the four "newly signed" players for the Salisbury Suns! (No, I didnt sign any contract, nor am I paid for it - I wish!! - but that's the term they used on the newspaper! =D) Unfortunately, this article is not on their online version, but I shall get a scan of the original paper version and will post it here at a later stage.

But the story doesnt end here! :)
Last thursday, before the game, the reporters came to the court to get team pictures of the players and coach, and courtside pictures of the game, which are to be used in another article (will keep you posted on that, too)! Unfortunately, we lost that game (eventhough we should've won), but, nevertheless, I beat my own career high which had been attained just early December last, by getting several assists, 4 steals and 20 points, including 4 three-pointers!

And, THEN, last night, a mere 4 days later, I managed to break my career high yet AGAIN! I had a fantastic game, defended very well, got several steals and interceptions, but most of all, scored 21 points, including 3 three-point shots!

Basketball-wise, things have been going pretty well for me since last summer, but, this new year has just been absolutely amazing and the new year resolution (see previous post) of doing more exercise and eating better is making a difference already, for I am now able to run a whole game, recover quickly and I also feel a LOT faster than I was last year! I ain't stopping and I'm gonna keep improving! That's a promise! :D

So, stay tuned and watch this space for more ground breaking news of my not-so-famous but very exciting basketball world! :D

Stay beautiful!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

New year,New Life,New...Guitar???

Damn, Dudes and Dudettes!

Just like that more than a month went by without a single post! In spite of this, life was full of events and "happenings" worthy of, AT LEAST, a line or two!

Firstly, Happy New Year to all of you! I hope that your holiday season was fabulous, whichever holiday your religion/culture/capitalistic-belief celebrates (if any), full of joy, love, companionship and gifts! I also hope that you are all keeping up your new year resolutions, for as hard as they might be!

My holidays were great! 3 weeks of doing F all, resting, playing basketball, going out with my mates, seeing my family and eating momma's food (OH MOMMA'S FOOD!!!!), what else could I want?? =D Xmas was great and Santa was VERY generous and for it I am Oh so grateful! Bottom-line, by the end of this month I will be 100% debt free! :D

The New Year's party was awesome too! I and a whole bunch of my dearest friends went up to one of them's (Kuadrado) country-house in a small town/village called Caminha. It was great fun! We listened to loads of music (most of it was horrible popular Portuguese music, but with great entertainment and comedy value), had a great laugh, drank lots of caipirinhas (brazilian drink made with limes, brown sugar, crushed ice and cachaça, the brazilian equivalent of firewater) - of course, not for me! I went hardcore on the Coke! =D - tossed around, had a lovely traditionalPortuguesee meal and then headed down to the village's centre for the fireworks spectacle (quite impressive, actually, for such a small town) which was fired at exactly midnight!

Personally, the very first seconds of the year weren't exactly pleasant, cos as soon as the church bell hit midnight, some moron, who was standing immediately behind me, opened a bottle of champagne and proceeded to celebrate the new year in the true Formula 1 tradition, pouring half of the bottle down the back of my shirt!! Lovely!! Specially for someone who HATES to smell of booze... But, that only lasted a whole 20 seconds and soon it was all forgotten and the festive feelings were back, instigated by the lovely live music that followed thefieryy show! It was the naffest, cheesiest popular traditionalPortuguesee music you can imagine, horribly torturing, but magnificent for taking the piss and having a laugh, dancing in the streets like crazy headless chicken! :D A few injuries arose from such celebratoryasynchronousd movements, including the stomping of some lady's foot and my slicing of a finger on a traffic sign, but it was all for the new year and for the good of the party, so, none of these situations actually deterred any velocity from the party-train that was already steaming away! :)

The party went on til the wee hours of the night and, to quote The Monty Python and The Holy Grail, "there was much rejoicing!".

After another week at home, doing the same activities as before but also including putting up shelves with maDad!, the eve of the day of the return to Her Majesty's Kingdom, was upon me. But, such a holiday season could not end without the now traditional Emigrant's Get-Together, which was now the 4th, or, in my native and proud language, O 4° Encontro do Emigrante!

This is a dinner-party that I always organize for all my dearest friends (those that can make it) and with every party the number of attendees has risen steadily, always with new ones and a handful of "usual costumers"! This time we went to a city next to Oporto called Matosinhos, to a restaurant named "Requinte" to have their city-wide famous Francesinha (Little French Woman - wanna know what it is?? ask me! ;D) and I can say that those Frenchies were, indeed, OH SO F'ING TASTY!!! Thank you, Araújo, for suggesting it! Good call, buddy! :D

So, for this event, on January 5th, 2006, there were 14 famished mouths, if my memory serves me right! They were, in no particular order, Cristiana, Pedro, Araújo, Nuno, Miguel, Catarina, Me, Daniela, Constança, Nelson, Luí­sa, Ana Luí­sa, Bernardo and Teresinha! Later Helena and Kuadrado joined the over-fed gang, but did not indulge in the french women devouring ritual! :) Their presence did, nevertheless, further sweeten that already marvelous event! After all french women had been sacrificed to the gastric gods, the party moved on to a chilled out little pub/club called "31" for some "ambiance" music, some more drinks and lots more socializing and chatting! Some of the partiers didn't make it to the club, but these "fallen warriors" shall remain nameless, for their excuse was the working day that followed, eventhough many of those that perpetuated the event in the club were in the same situation! (Just joshing, guys, I totally understand!... I'll never talk to you again, but I totally understand! ;D). On the way to the club we picked up yet another awaited member of the fun gang, Mariana, who finished the count of people participating in the event. The total was a record 17 people! Well done, guys and gals!! Well done!!

That night I got home was about 1:30/2am and started packing for my flight the following day. At around 4am, I decided to check email before going to bed and found out that my flight had been cancelled and postponed to the following day, due to the airport fire department being on strike! Surprise, surprise, a strike in Portugal! hehe Anyway, got an extra day in Portugal for free, which wasn't bad.

I've been in Bristol for almost 2 weeks, now, and I am proud to say that I am still keeping up my new year's resolutions, which, amongst other things, include doing more exercise (I'm back in the gym and running on a regular basis), change my stupid (but still sexy ;D) mullet, improve my eating habits (I am now eating loads of fruit and veg and have not had any junk food yet!) , and work on my music and my guitars!

By working on my guitars I mean that I have resumed the work on the guitar I am building (almost finished the sanding of the body yesterday, and new parts arrived today on the post) and have acquired myself a new guitar, a Vintage Reaper 3000 DPF at less than half price!
Hail to Ebay! :)

Here is a picture of me, with my new look, holding my new guitar and one of the guitar :

hehehe

Also, today we're taking the team photos for the Salisbury Suns basketball team, so I shall post them here soon so you can see how good we look in our new kits and warm up t-shirts! :)

Anyway, thats about it for now. Life is good and the days are getting longer, so I can't complain! :)
Stay Beautiful, Gringos and Gorgeous Gringas!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

No,no,no.Thats Mr.Azevedo, AD MEng!

Well, today was pay review day! Every year, in December, the company asks each person's managers how they think the person did over the year and then atribute an appropriate pay rise! Well turns out that I managed to convince my managers that I did well (Fools!!! ;D) and got a wee pay rise, which is always nice and welcome, but, most importantly, I also got a promotion!

This promotion entitles me to move to a higher social stratum! My title is no long Junior Programmer - Aerospace Engineer, MEng! I am now an APPLICATIONS DEVELOPER - Aerospace Engineer, MEng! In other words, I am now a LEVEL 2 employee, as oppose to a level 1! How posh and exciting, hey?? hehe

And the best thing is, I don't have business cards, so I dont have to request new ones with a new title! =)

Stay beautiful!

Monday, December 12, 2005

Tic-Tac-Tic...Tic-F'ING-Tac FASTER!!!!

The final countdown has begun... Saturday at 9am I will be home, Portugal, for 3 weeks... 3 wonderful, xmas motif'ed, family packed, friends surrounded, restful, momma's food stuffed weeks that I've been waiting for and craving for so long! Cannot wait! =D

Im dying to see all my Portuguese friends and return to the Capital of the Empire!!! Ermesinde, of course!

Soon... soon...

All you B-ballers out there in Ermesinde, better warm up your shoes, we're going to do some serious ballin' this Xmas! hehe A big shout to y'all! Holla! :)

Stay beautiful in this joyful season and behave accordingly! ;)

Friday, December 02, 2005

For The 3, He Shoots, HE SCORES!!

Yesterday, was a big day for yours truly! The Salisbury Suns, the basketball team from Salisbury (duh!) that I play for in the SABA League (South England) - Division 1, had a game against the Weymouth Bandits! The team played really well, which made things even the more pleasurable! But, most excitingly was the fact that, not only did we win 75-62 but also that I had a "career high" with several assists, 2 blocks, 2 steals and 6 (yes, SIX) three point shots, for a total of 18 points! I was on fire, like I've never been! It was awesome! =D


I LOVE THIS GAME!

Just thought I'd share my excitement! =)

Stay beautiful!